Monday, December 24, 2012
The Vampire is Just Not That Into You by Vlad Mezrich
Are you in love with a vampire? Are you worried that you might not be his (blood) type? Do you wonder whether that cold stare means he isn’t interested . . . or if it’s because he’s been dead for three centuries (nothing personal)? Have you tried to coax him out of his crypt with a flash of your neck or a near-death situation that requires him to save you at the very last possible moment? Have you ever considered what it will be like to introduce him to your mother?
Even though your vampire’s skin is transfixingly translucent, he can still be very hard to read. Sometimes he’s simply holding back his true feelings, resisting the urge to bite you in the chance that one day you will truly love him. And other times . . . well, he’s just not that into you.
How can you tell? Undead dating specialist Vlad Mezrich has all the answers, utilizing quizzes, Top Ten lists, language analysis, real-life (and real-death) testimonials, and fancy charts to show you what you need to do in order to get your vampire and keep him forever. Once you go vamp, you never decamp – so let this eternally rewarding book show you the way to the vampire of your dreams.
When it first came out, I loved He’s Just Not That Into You. When I found out they had a vampire version, I just had to read it. However, I was disappointed. It was probably my own fault that I was disappointed. I didn’t do enough research on the book before buying it. I thought the book was going to be a young adult book but it turned out to be middle grade. It was way below my reading level. I felt kind of silly reading it. Also, I thought it was going to be an actual novel, but it was more of a how to guide. Although He’s Not That Into You was a guide as well, it didn’t have all the charts and quizzes. I think the author thought that this would make the book more fun to read but it didn’t. I’m not quite sure if the author was trying to be like Twilight, or make fun of it with all the references to it. It just did not work. It just made it seem like he was trying too hard to be funny. As much as I dislike the book, there are a few things that I did like about it. The cover is beautiful. I like how the cover is a spoof of He’s Not That Into You, with more of a goth feel. Also when the author was using his humor in a non-twilight way, he was actually pretty witty. He made me chuckle a few times. However, the positives of the book don’t make up for how much I disliked it.
I give The Vampire is Just Not That Into You: 2/5.
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I bought this book at a book sale. I was in no way compensated for this review.